Mother’s Day is always a hard day for me to get through. It reminds me of the little life I tried to bring into this world, and lost. I fought so hard to keep him safe, to hide his existence from my brutal first husband.  I thought I had succeeded. It has been so very long. I know that by this time, had things gone normally, we would both be passed on and our time on earth but a memory to the family we might have gone on to have. Tales would be told remembering Mama Esme, Grandma Esme. Maybe…

Some people may think I’m and Ice Queen with no feelings or like Jacob once called me, Ice Cold Barbie, that all I care about is about me and my vanity. Well that is not true, yes I was a drama Queen I admit it, but that was only during my newborn days and even a couple of years after my change but it all changed when I found my Emmett, he turned my world around, he made me the person I am now and for that and many other reasons I love him.

Yes, I admit I am still not and easy person…

 Most people who don't know me, may think that I'm nothing but a big dude with nothing between my ears and alot of muscle. Those who really know me, know I'm actually pretty caring and protective of those I love. Again like a big teddy bear, but don't piss me off or threaten any of my family members unless you want to become a smudge on the pavement. I do actually think, it's just sometimes I do things then think about it later.. which almost always gets me in trouble. Anyway, I'm good at…

  From what I can remember of my human life I drank as hard as I worked, and gambled all my money away as fast as I could earn it. I was quick to anger, and sure as hell never backed down from a fight. I was a little reckless I suppose you could say. However, though I didn't know it, my life was about to be changed.

One day in 1935,  I was out hunting in the woods, and was caught off guard when a bear came out of no where and attacked me. I tried to dodge the powerful hits of it's…

The first while after phasing it was Sam Paul and me.  Then Sam imprinted on Emily.  What a trial that was for all of us to go through.  Then I imprinted on Kim and I understood more of what Sam went through.  While Emily at first tried to reject Sam to spare Leah's feelings, everything that happened between Kim and I those first few weeks after imprinting were the total opposite.  Kim wanted to be with me before I imprinted on…

It had been 2 years after my change, I was still not too happy about the change my life had taken, better said the way my life had ended and this new one began and was even more upset over Edward’s rejection, I didn’t feel anything for him, but I had never taken rejection lightly as I had never in my past life had been rejected, everyone wanted to be with me, I was of course beautiful and now that was enhanced with my transformation. I was thankful that I didn’t struggle much with…

I escaped to my sisters after school just needing some time to think everything through... My friends all having constant.. Yeah I'd rather not go there, and the fact I'm getting picked on about my religion.. Great what was next? Oh yeah the part where my sister and her boyfriend sit me down and blab at me because I'm failing.. Great.. Just what I needed.. Not really. At this point in time I'm ready to look at…

I have lived for quite some time now you might think I have seen the world, but in my case that has only happened while reading or watching movies, you might ask why?... Well my father was a very protective man and barely let me out of the house, everything I knew in life I had learned from my father himself or  the old women in town that always treated me like if I was family to her, my father did travel with the king but obviously I was not allowed to go, first because I was a girl and…

After weeks of uncertainty the day finally came, we saw our baby one more time and we are sure he is growing strong and healthy, listening to his heart is the most wonderful sound in the world for a parent to be, I remember the first time I heard Shay’s heartbeat, I could not stop crying of pure joy and the same feeling came back when I listen to my munchkin’s heartbeat and it was extra special because Shay came with us this time and she saw the baby with her own eyes.

We thought it…

well grandma was discharged from the hospital last week,but now she's back in the hospital. the funny thing is,its the same floor and only a few rooms away from the room she was in before.

this time on friday, she fell and hit her head on the floor at walmart,then saterday morning she was caughing up blood, my aunt took her to the ER and they said her heart beat was low, and so was her blood pressure. who knows how long she'll be in this time so i'm stuck at my aunt's house till she…

Well, I didn't expect this to happen. My Great-Grandma had a heart attack. she had a hard time breathing one night and i was in the computer room with my door shut because my uncle was putting his dog outside and his dog doesn't get along with my dog, and he said that grandma was having a hard time breathing so he took her to the hospital. i told my aunt, since my grandmother is her mother, and she called and said that she'll go see her in the E.R and tell me how she is and what is wrong…

Those first few weeks after I imprinted on Kim were hard.   Sam knew what I was going through and tried to help as much as he could.  Paul was still trying to deal with his anger and trying not to constantly phase all the time.   Sam really did have his hands full with the two of us.…

1943

My Dear Esme

It has been a long time since I had an opportunity of writing to you, and I gladly avail myself of the present opportunity. Here I am to write a few lines and try and get it sent off to let you know that I am among the living.

We have been on a raid but I have not had time to give you the particulars of our trip. I will write in a few days if I can get a chance and write you a long one. I've been tending a soldier who's quite sick. My unit captured…

The State of California is very large 163,696 square miles. Today I am on my way to interview a chap to become the new General Manager for Simplicite. Having arrived in Los Angeles and missed my connection to Sacramento. I thought it might be more prudent to just drive the mileage but now I am second guessing myself.  Although by driving I can stop and have a bite to eat.  I Which may be to my benefit.

As I start out from Los Angeles my navigation equipped vehicle…

Grabbing my bags off the conveyor belt at the airport and heading to the hotel shuttle. I greet the lady driver and toss my bags on to the shelf and take a seat. I send a text message to Tia to let her know that I arrived in Los Angeles just fine. A few more passengers hop on to the shuttle and we pull away and head toward the hotel.

As I am checking in I ask the desk clerk to send up some extra towels and verify that there is a refrigerator. She assures me that I have a suite…

We all knew it would be soon, the signs were there and my pains and cramps were increasing more rapidly. I suppose it was wishful thinking on my side, hoping that somehow I could just postpone it all. So when Mom got an assignment to go do a shoot in the Amazon’s I was very eager in reassuring her that it was more than okay to go and do the shoot. I still remember our chat about it, we were sitting at a coffee shop in Seattle and I smiled at her. “Mom, seriously I have no concern, I really…

Relax, strong angel, and clear the rings of your mind

You decorate my heavens and lift my heart.  Pour out

Your fluid light to me.  Bend, be secure, I hold your

Warmth.  With no buffer, I swallow your being.  Roll with me

Reach where is contained a wisp of soul.  Work on

This craft, a shard of passion disappears as we wrap together.

Enfolded in your world, my vision floats backwards

Holding you softly, I inhale your smooth scent, rising…

I know I haven’t been on lately, but its because everything hasn’t been very good. I had to put down one of my dogs. We had to put down Oreo(the black and white one in my pictures) on the day before St.Patrick’s Day. Then there’s driver’s training I was doing in February which had put me behind in my homework a lot, then there’s the fact that internet hasn’t been working. I’ve been very depressed lately after we put Oreo down. The saddest thing is, that my…

Not all pregnancies are the same, well I can tell you they cannot be more right about that, in my first pregnancy I had a lot of morning sickness and as a matter in fact it was the reason why Sam took me to the doctor and how we found out I was pregnant with Ayasha, I had a lot of cravings but could not tolerate to be even near sea food or anything heavily vanilla scented and one thing I did love to eat was Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and by the way I think that’s why Shay loves them…

About a week ago I went with Emily up to the hospital for her check up and another ultrasound. We have still been quite worried and concerned for the baby since the accident. I'm afraid that if we get our hopes up, something will happen and the baby will be gone. It's been scary for both us, but much more so for Emily. She tries so hard not to let it bother her, but I can tell it does.  Anyway, as we looked at the baby in the ulatrasound, saw the heartbeat, and saw for ouselves that the baby…