An Interactive Twilight Experience.
Not all pregnancies are the same, well I can tell you they cannot be more right about that, in my first pregnancy I had a lot of morning sickness and as a matter in fact it was the reason why Sam took me to the doctor and how we found out I was pregnant with Ayasha, I had a lot of cravings but could not tolerate to be even near sea food or anything heavily vanilla scented and one thing I did love to eat was Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and by the way I think that’s why Shay loves them so much, but yes my first pregnancy was very different to what I feel and how this pregnancy is feeling.
First well I did not find out because I had morning sickness, but because I was in an accident and well very little that I knew later was in fact morning sickness caused by being pregnant, I think a symptom I was having and did not notice was my mood, it was very changing one moment I was happy another I was just upset and irritated even with Sam for the most simple things I would either start crying or started screaming at him which was something I would never do, I mean yes we have had arguments but I had never yelled at him before, another thing I did not noticed was that I was very tired most of the time, I hated that then and I hated it even more this second time, but well that was just a few of the symptoms that completely passed me by.
Since being in an accident while pregnant well I worry all the time for the safety of the baby, so scared all the time something bad will happen but I know all that stress is not good for neither me or the baby or my family for that matter, Sam is always worried for me as well and I don’t like putting him in that position because he has to go on patrols and he can’t concentrate and if a situation presents well he can get hurt so that makes me very upset with myself. And let’s not begin to talk about hormones and my needs, let’s just say that with both pregnancies, well how can I say this, okay let’s say I have a very happy husband, my desire for him rises sometimes to a point when I wish I could just stay with him and only have special mommy daddy time.
But this time is not just me or Sam that is going through the changes, it’s also Shay, I know she is trying to understand, but she is only 3 years old, she understands but then forgets and I know gets sad when I don’t have the energy to run around with her like I used to and because of that we try to get her involved as much as possible in everything regarding the baby, we do things for her just as we do for the baby , so she doesn’t feel left out, even if we would never do that, she is a baby and well like I said does not understands very well but something I am always going to remember was the first time she felt the baby move, she says it tickles her hand and asks me from time to time if she could feel my tummy and of course I allow her to.
But I can say this, it does not matter how different or hard a pregnancy is or might be, I would not care if I have to stay in bed because my back hurts or if I have big feet, or cannot sleep, or all the vitamins you have to take, nothing really matters because in the end the reward for everything you went through is worth that and so much more, my Shay is worth that and so much more and I know my little munchkin will too, he already is.