Carmen Denali's Blog (31)

When the past & present outshine the future.

It is not often that I find myself walking along the beautiful wide halls of our home alone and undisturbed, yet here I am. As I begin to pass by one of the large windows, the golden rays of sunlight on the newly fallen snow catches my attention and with no conscious thought I curl up on the comfortable window seat, to gaze in awe and wonder at the beauty that lies before me. Each ray of light dancing across the snow in such perfect harmony. The light capturing each frozen droplet of water like… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on January 1, 2011 at 1:00pm — No Comments

I long to reach my home and see the day of my return, it is my never failing wish...

When you have suffered through decades of cruely and abuse, each day can drag miserably and you'll do anything to remember when you were once happy.

As I walk through the pristine forests near our home, it is easy now to recall the few happy memories that I painstakingly clung to, which saw me through the darkest years of my existence. Pausing momentarily beside my favourite tree, before climbing straight up to the highest brances, I settle back comfortably against the large…

Added by Carmen Denali on December 29, 2010 at 12:00pm — No Comments

No Words

Whether it be right or wrong, we are here, for a day, a month, a year or a lifetime... but what is it we leave behind?

We are no longer human yet we still walk among you, we are capable of good but are we able to leave behind a legacy?

We hide from you in the sunlight... but hunt you in the shadows.

Eternity sits like a gift within the palm of our hands, yet we watch helplessly and are left to mourn, as those we have grown close to fade and pass.

Sighing as I lift my… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on December 21, 2010 at 10:48am — No Comments


Pausing as the wind swirls the leaves around me, bringing with it her scent. I place my hand gently against the big fir tree and smile, knowing I will see her in a few short moments.

My mind wanders back to the very first time I saw her, her little sobs broke my heart and her tiny tear stained cheeks awoke in me something that had been slowly coming since the very first time I met baby Renesme. In the years since meeting Nessie, Sam and Emily Uley had welcomed a child into their home… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on November 30, 2010 at 10:11am — No Comments

The Monster Within!

I have never embraced the monster within me, well not really.

My first 200 years were a constant battle, surviving and yet trying to hold onto some humanity. I only ever fed on those who would have meant me harm, if I had indeed been the helpless young woman they thought me to be. I fed on those who were cruel and sadistic, ugly by nature. I have lived the last 165 years in complete happiness and I have never regretted my choices, but a turn of events, an innocent slip up and my world… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on November 16, 2010 at 10:21am — No Comments


I consider myself to be extremely fortunate, I have a wonderful family who I adore, my two beautiful sisters and a caring brother. I am both happy and loved and I know this is because of my wonderful and loving husband Eleazar, who is the centre of my universe and the reason for my very existence, he saved my life and by doing so, saved me in every way possible.

Eleazar changed so much of his life for me, he once happily resided in Volterra as part of the Volturi high guard and…


Added by Carmen Denali on August 16, 2010 at 1:29am — No Comments


There is a first time for everything isn't there, but how do you prepare for your first hunt, I had been a vampire for some hours now, but I had to wait till darkness fell and in the meantime my throat burned like a funace, I had never known a craving like it, it was a thirst that no water could quench. Everywhere around me I could smell what I wanted, what I needed, we lived in the middle of a city and I was surrounded by humans, but as hungry as I was, as painful as the fire was I still… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on June 16, 2010 at 7:32am — No Comments

I belong to you

A jounal entry....

My darling Eleazar,

Each of us walks a path in life, sometimes we know where we're going, other times we just stumble along lifes journey and hope it all works out. I had been lost for such a long time, I lost everyone I had ever loved or cared for, I had lost all hope and truly longed for it all to end. But then as though by magic you were there, you swept into my life like a warm summers breeze and just like that you changed my world.

The first… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on May 10, 2010 at 5:53am — 1 Comment

The Great Plague of Seville

The year was 1650, the plague had been raging for three years and would continue for another two, as I walked through the streets of Seville the smell of death hung heavily in the air though this is nothing compared with the stench of decay and rotting bodies. "Stupid, stupid humans", snarled Cortez, how could they be so ignorant and stupid, secretly I smiled, not for the death or suffering that was going around me, for that my heart ached, no I smiled because because of his suffering, so… Continue

Added by Carmen Denali on April 30, 2010 at 11:00am — No Comments

1727 - 1851

After 124 years, I'm saddened to admit that I remained very un-educated in the ways of my world, of the ancient laws that existed. I had heard whispers of The Cloaked ones but nothing more. I had all but forgotten my dreams of painting as they lurked in the far corners of my murky human memories, though I did not recall these very often, as they left me nothing but the pain of what might have been. My days were consumed with thoughts of my death. I knew of pain and suffering, I was there…


Added by Carmen Denali on April 21, 2010 at 12:30am — 2 Comments

1727 The Change

It was December, winter was settling in and I was in my favourite place the study, this could have been any other day but it was not, I heard voices coming down the hallway and one of them casused my heart to stop, suddenly I was thirteen years old again and all I wanted to do was hide, slipping out onto the terrace, I watched as he entered the room followed by my dear family, there he was the man who killed my beloved madre. How could this be happening, how could he be here, silent…


Added by Carmen Denali on March 23, 2010 at 6:30am — 3 Comments


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