Whether it be right or wrong, we are here, for a day, a month, a year or a lifetime... but what is it we leave behind?
We are no longer human yet we still walk among you, we are capable of good but are we able to leave behind a legacy?
We hide from you in the sunlight... but hunt you in the shadows.
Eternity sits like a gift within the palm of our hands, yet we watch helplessly and are left to mourn, as those we have grown close to fade and pass.
Sighing as I lift my pen from paper, my thoughts immediately drift to Eleazar, the days have turned to weeks but he is not yet home, all interest in my journal now lost, I close it, sliding it away from me and reaching for my cell instead, the last text received, staring back at me, though long committed to memory now, I am unable to not scroll through, as though reading it for the first time, the last communication from my husband. The same wave of sadness washing over me as I imagine your lonely journey. Gratefully my family have not intruded upon the silent and solitude I have confined myself to. Choosing to emerge from our bedroom when the house grows still, I wander the quiet rooms alone always finding myself in your study, your scent still liingering as I curl up in your chair, my favourite jumper of yours in my arms.
The laughter from my loving family that would normally bring me such great comfort is just another reminder that you are not here. My only other solace besides our beloved garden is the mountains, on countless occasions I have found myself slipping silently through our bedroom window and disappearing into the darkness, the nights I have spent atop a mountain the air so still and silent it is almost deafening.
The beauty of the horizon, the distant mountains and surrounding forest no longer holding any magic for me without your presence. I dare not even think to go to our special place, I cannot entertian the thought of being there without you. There is only one place I know to find you when we are apart. I close my eyes and instantly I see yours, touched by your smile and free from the sadness that I know has fallen upon you. Every gesture, every word, every memory of you I hold safe within my heart.