MY SECRET.

[Carmen Denali]

I consider myself to be extremely fortunate, I have a wonderful family who I adore, my two beautiful sisters and a caring brother. I am both happy and loved and I know this is because of my wonderful and loving husband Eleazar, who is the centre of my universe and the reason for my very existence, he saved my life and by doing so, saved me in every way possible.

Eleazar changed so much of his life for me, he once happily resided in Volterra as part of the Volturi high guard and for all accounts and purposes was happy with his family and his life. We of course now live in Denali and Forks and happily exist on a vegetarian diet but we are, what we are and though we may silence the monster, it never goes away, that is our curse.

For centuries my husband existed happily on human blood, he enjoyed everything about his former life and believed it a true honour to hold his position in the high guard and to be part of that world. His feelings for it did not change until we met. Eleazar could see that while I was happy in Volterra, I was barely tolerating my diet of human blood, Heidi's fishing parties were absolutely not to my liking. Eleazar became unhappy because I was unhappy, because of his love for me he turned his back on his family and home, both of which he had loved.

We left Volterra and Eleazar settled us in Vienna and upon our first Christmas eve alone together he asked me to be his wife, still my favourite memory. When I think back over the last 165 years there are so many countless memories, all of them but a couple, happy and unforgettable. Eleazar has never broken a promse to me and I have never doubted his word.

My husband has been there on countless occasions for our whole family, he has been an enormous strength and help to Garrett as he has struggled to maintain our diet and for Katie whose obvious pain has broken our hearts.

So despite my happiness and the love of my husband and family I live in fear that I will one day lose him or them all. I have never gone to anyone in my family over this torment. This burden is mine and mine alone. This life we choose is not without struggle and although my husband has never faltered, the secret of this fear stays with me.