Time, for us, isn't relevant. As you course through your daily activities, we observe from our timeless state. It's almost as if our residence is stuck in time as we watch the seasons and the people of Volterra pass away. We sit idle in the midst of all of your living and chaos. At first, this 'life' was everything I had ever wanted and more. It was more than I could have possibly imagined and as one could guess, it was filled with adventure, daring feats and incredible romance. 

That is…

Can it really be a year, one year since I stood in front of my family and friends and promised till death do us part to the love of my life Jacob Black.

Yes it’s really been a year of being Mrs Black and I would love to say it was just a year of awesomeness, but let’s be honest here. It’s marriage and yes it can be hard.

I mean you have two people learning to share one space like all the time and even though since the first time I entered the world we have been…

Billy knows. I am sure of it. He  knows I am hiding something from him. I didn’t dare ask why the box was out. After all, it is his workshop, my things are invading his workspace. There are any number of reasons he could have had the box there, from needing to get to something it was blocking to setting his work on it. I don’t believe he was snooping about, nor do I care if he did. It would be my own fault for not destroying my old journals and poems from that horrible time. I don’t know why…

I can't believe she is  2 days short of 3 months old. It feels like just yesterday she was born. 

I feel like I never get sleep anymore, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way right now. For not even knowing if I would be a good mother and not sure I even wanted a child, I can't believe I ever thought that. Yes, I still get scared that I am not doing everything I can and should for her, or that something is missing from her life that she needs, but whenever I express that to…

I have lived my entire life alone. My father's side of the family doesn't want anything to do with me and my mother's side just adore me. But what I can I say? I am truly adorable *laughs* With what is going on I needed some boys time. I do enjoy spending time with my brothers and their wives or imprints but what about me? I will try to find her someday but for now I have my family. My best friend, Colin Littlesea, had finally come home. I am so glad that he is here with me to enjoy life…

Some things come easy for others. Some things come harder for the rest. But how long will it take for me to find the one girl that I need? I hear from the others how its wonderful to have found the other half of themselves. I just I feel like I am never going to find the other half of me. I would love to have the adventures that my friends half I would love to see and feel the love that they have. I just don't have the patience for it thought, I guess. The adventures that I will have will be…

In our immortal lives, much as in our human lives we are all blessed with certain talents. You have those , like my sister Kate and my brother Eleazar, who were blessed with certain…I suppose the word would be supernatural gifts as well as their natural talents and then you have those like Carmen, Garrett and myself who are blessed with our natural talents. Garrett can take a photo that will capture an image you had been looking at and never truly seen. Katrina…

It’s hardly a secret that I like the attention of men, whether mortal or immortal it doesn’t really matter to me. Though of course, immortal men are rare so majority of the time I find myself in the company of human males. I have always….liked…the mortal men I spend time with but it isn’t often that it was more than that and once it became a danger for me and my family I break ties and move on with ease and very little heartache on my part.

Unfortunately it was not so easy…

Simple joys for others

Evade me

Struggles through the days

Worries on my shoulders

Fear in my heart

Doubt in my mind.

What if…

The question haunts.

What if it hadn’t happened?

What if I had siblings?

Different parents?

What if…

There is someone out there to love me?

Happiness can be mine?

What if…

I am fooling myself.

How did I make it this far?

I sat back, and I watched.

Others who were happy

People who were loved.

Those who had support.

I had none.

I had no one.

Alone, adrift in a world of darkness.

Secrets kept

Because no one heard

No one listened,

No one cared,

No one believed.

There was no one to teach me how to cope

Or what it meant to feel safe and secure.

I had only me

It had to be…

It happened again. Every week when they drop me off, I hope that it won’t. It does every time though. I am 12 years old now, I think I am old enough to stay at home for a couple of hours during the day by myself. But Mom and Dad don’t think I am responsible. Whatever that means. I can be good, and I try. I guess I am not good enough for them to think I am responsible and they keep making me go.

I just close my eyes now and think about what it will be like when I am grown up.…

I touched the blossom

And the petal fell into my palm.

Soft, fragile.

A tiny hint of color.

It could not be restored

It and the blossom, would never be the same.

Innocence in my hand.

Was it mine?

I was the blossom.

The pain was the worst pain I have ever felt in the world. It was like my insides were dying, I never thought it would be so intense. I squeezed Solomon's hand tightly as my contractions got closer and closer together, waiting for Dr. Cullen to get me to the operating room for a c-section. Laying there, staring at Leo, I got more and more scared and anxious. What if she wasn't healthy, or breathing? What if I did something wrong through the pregnancy? Then the horrible questions like, What…

Placid morning, smooth glass lake

Hiding life below the surface.

Mirrors of the skies,

Ripples distorting lies.

Untold secrets lie on the sandy bottom,

Unkissed by the sun

Never feeling its warmth.

This used to be my world

Cold and silent

Alone and isolated.

Never sharing the things inside.

You broke the waters

Dove in deep and brought me the heat

Passions awakened for living

Life became a new…

Taking my seat on the flight, I slipped my tablet from my carry on smiling at the screensaver – a photo of myself, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar taking on the day of Edward and Bella’s wedding. Switching it to flight mode, I snapped the cover close. I couldn’t wait to be home.

I glanced up as something nudged against my arm. A bag had fallen from the overhead luggage compartment and landed in the seat next to me.

“I’m sorry about that. Are you okay?” A man…

Edward and I stumbled upon a conversation last night which was a difficult one to address. We have both been noticing that we're being looked at a little harder these days by our colleagues. While Edward is quite good at making himself age ever so slightly, I have not had such luck. Esme and I first started to discuss this a couple years ago but the mere thought is heartbreaking to her and I decided to let it sit. It's come to the realization that it's getting too close to just…

Tiffany and Rachel insisted that I go to the ER during our Christmas shopping in Seattle, Washington. I had been getting sick to my stomach for the past weeks and I knew they were worried; it was a good thing Leo was in Hawaii at a surfing conference so he would not be worried too. 

I am not a fan of hospitals, at all. They remind me of death, of my mother. As I sat in the exam room, waiting for my test results to be delivered by Doctor Edward Cullen, I held Rachel's hand…

November 9, 2014

Hello dear friend. It is time I turn again to you to sort out what is going on.

The time has come for me to go back to work. Aerie is 15 weeks old, although since she was 8 weeks premature, she is developmentally at about 7 weeks. She had a check up Friday and weighs 9.9 pounds and is 15.9 inches long. She is growing and healthy and I cannot be happier or prouder. Billy too. I think this year we will have a lot to be thankful for at the…

Just when I began to believe that Alec wouldn't ever return to Volterra, he surprises me by returning.  I am elated that he is back.  I've spent countless months...almost a year all alone.  Since he had left, I was never really myself.  My brother is the other half of the puzzle.  The other half of my life.  Without him, everything just becomes dull and lifeless.  When he left, I felt as if I was in my own solitary shell.  Nobody would come and visit me.  Nobody would invite me out.  It was…

After his final surfing competition, Solomon finished first. I'm was so proud of him, but I couldn't push away that void in my heart for not having my family in my life for almost 12 years. Just imagine that, missing all the marriages, births, deaths, birthdays...

That night we went home and I ended up crying…