I can't believe she is  2 days short of 3 months old. It feels like just yesterday she was born. 

I feel like I never get sleep anymore, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way right now. For not even knowing if I would be a good mother and not sure I even wanted a child, I can't believe I ever thought that. Yes, I still get scared that I am not doing everything I can and should for her, or that something is missing from her life that she needs, but whenever I express that to…

The pain was the worst pain I have ever felt in the world. It was like my insides were dying, I never thought it would be so intense. I squeezed Solomon's hand tightly as my contractions got closer and closer together, waiting for Dr. Cullen to get me to the operating room for a c-section. Laying there, staring at Leo, I got more and more scared and anxious. What if she wasn't healthy, or breathing? What if I did something wrong through the pregnancy? Then the horrible questions like, What…

Tiffany and Rachel insisted that I go to the ER during our Christmas shopping in Seattle, Washington. I had been getting sick to my stomach for the past weeks and I knew they were worried; it was a good thing Leo was in Hawaii at a surfing conference so he would not be worried too. 

I am not a fan of hospitals, at all. They remind me of death, of my mother. As I sat in the exam room, waiting for my test results to be delivered by Doctor Edward Cullen, I held Rachel's hand…

After his final surfing competition, Solomon finished first. I'm was so proud of him, but I couldn't push away that void in my heart for not having my family in my life for almost 12 years. Just imagine that, missing all the marriages, births, deaths, birthdays...

That night we went home and I ended up crying…

I moved away at about 16, my junior year, unable to take the pain of losing my mother, Sarah. I decided to drive down to California along the coast till I came across Santa Cruz where I was enrolled for high school classes. I had a small one bedroom apartment in a secure building where I stayed when I was in school. …