I had been running for a few hours now, still nothing could take away the frustration I was feeling. No matter how much I howled, dug dirt vigrorously with my paws or ran, nothing could get me to let enough anger out of me to phase back to my human self. Even if I did, I just couldn’t face the thought of what happened in my mind. I also happenned to have no other clothes to put on either. For now I was the only one of my pack phased, so it wasn’t too bad. No one could hear the thoughts screaming from my head. I kept worrying on what they would think if they saw the scene in my head as I kept replaying it over and over.
I knew at some point I wouldn’t be able to avoid having my brothers see all this and when night fell, that time came. I knew my brothers knew something was up because of the noise I made when leaving the house, so it was just a matter of time before I could hear one of them in my thoughts. Jake was the first one to enter my mind. I was still replaying the scene in my mind…the fight, me losing control of myself, storming out, the howling...After a long discussion, he did help me get my control back so I could phase, and thankfully brought some shorts for me to put on. I went to spend the rest of the night in his garage.
I didn’t get much sleep that night… Everytime I tried to get some sleep, the memory of what happen would come haunt me. At some point I nearly gave up and just laid there, on the cot, thinking. Something told me when I walked out of the garage, intending to head out to the forest for a few hours, that Billy heard from Jake of what went on. I wouldn’t have been surprised either if mom went to him. He was sitting in his chair, in front of the house as if he was waiting for me all that time. I knew the second I saw him why he wanted to talk with me.
I went towards him, knowing this conversation was unavoidable. He had a look of concern in his face. He invited me inside and I sat on the couch, as he wheeled himself next to me. When he asked what happened, thinking I could use the wisdom of his words, I told him all that happened. The fight, what it was about, how I stormed out and how Jake helped me phase back to bring me here. I will never thank him enough for what he told me that night, the wisdom in his words ringing like a true elder. He helped me remember how important our family is, and that even with what happened, mom still cares and loves me much. This is one challenge life has brought to me, and that he knew I could overtake it. She is the only family we have, so it’s my responsibility to make sure nothing happens to her.
He did make me feel better, but there were still things troubling me after this. I was feeling so tired for one, that after thanking him, I went back to the garage to get some sleep, telling him that I would go back home after getting some rest. I ended up sleeping for the rest of the day and all through the night. Seeing what time it was, after thanking Billy for the advice, I headed home to try to talk to mom. Things were going smoothly, more so than I expected after what happened. That is, until I came across a picture of her with a man, that seemed to look like me. I instantly knew who the person on that picture was.
I stormed up to her, holding that picture intending very well on showing it to her, but I could feel the heat rising again. My hands started to shake and I was doing everything I could to not have another outburst in front of her again. Who knows what would have happened. I let go of the picture, letting it fall to the floor. I admire her for having kept her calm with me trembling in front of her like that. She did get me to calm down enough for me to be able to hear through her explanation. The truth was out, and I finally knew some of the answers I had been looking for all along: my father being Joshua Uley. One thing that I had been wondering ever since I phased for the first time got answered. The feeling Sam and I had towards one another, was one of brotherhood. He is my half-brother.