i went shopping today for christmas gifts and got my 4 year old cousin something justin bieber (shes crazy about him)

shes like my little sister and she means alot to me she just loves me she has a big brother named jacob (he loves halo and xbox and call fo duty ...  etc) he really is like my brother i wouldnt know anything about guns or knives or anything boyish if it wasnt for him and then theres their parents i love matt and jan with all my heart they are like my other parents i…

ok weird day but this is what happened

~class gets held and i wait in the hall for maggie (my best friend) to get out of class~

~a hand places on my shoulder~ him: hello?

~jumps and my book fall~ me: oh sorry

~he bends down to help me pick it up~ him: are you new here i've never seen you around?

me: i'm picking up my best friend waiting on her actually im homeschooled!

him: oh well here you go you like this stuff?

me: romeo and…

maybe if i had blonde hair instead of my red maybe if i looked alot moore like my sister blonde haired blue eyed size 1 type girl but i dont think i want to be like that though my loud red haired pale freckled self instead i try to be quiet add some blonde highlights and try my hardest to get a tan and finding some way to cover up my feckles with make up theres nothing i can do but i guess embrace what i do have ... i am a loser i have no friends still no boys but i've kind have gotten used…

as i sit here writing this i see how lonley my life is i have one friend who i hardly see no boyfriend (boys dont usually like me) and everbody i meet usually likes my older sister better i mean what kind of an accuse of a teenager am i i only have 3 numbers on my phone that i can text i barly talk to people ill admit im shy but come on some people could step up say hi once mabye somebody could break me out of my shell my unsocilization probably began when i became homeschooled i hardly see…