My kids were just normal happy kids, they fought, bickered and annoyed each other just as other siblings do, sometimes they still do, but they're not the normal happy kids they once were. Of course there are obvious changes, one being neither are children any longer. Leah is a grown woman of 23 and Seth 17, it's been years now since their lives were forever changed.

The year they both phased for the first time was traumatic to say the least, Seth was so excited afterwards but the shock of Leah's phasing caused her fathers heart attack (so Leah believes) a scar she still carries. Adjusting to everything was not easy and still isn't, not really.

Leah struggles constantly with the heart ache of losing her father, which she insists is her fault, she is frightened and angry of the side effects these changes have brought and so many questions, will she meet someone?, fall in love? and her biggest question, will she be able to, if she ever wants to, have a child? no longer ageing might sound great at first but if internally your body is in some form of suspended life unable to move forward, where does that leave your future. If Harry had not passed away, I believe Leah's struggles would not have been so hard, with his quiet way, Harry would have been her constant counsel, reassuring her, explaining everything in a way only he could, and she would have seen and understood, even as a child Leah and Harry always had that bond. He could always reach her, even when I could not.

Even Seth, my happy go lucky young son who always trys to see the good in people, has taken to worrying about his future also. With everyone else around him imprinting and moving forward, he is worried about where that leaves him, then of course his sister is the only female wolf and she also has not imprinted, which compounds his fear. It hurts to see someone so young dealing with so much pain and confusion, it hurts even more when they're your own flesh and blood. It breaks my heart to know that there is nothing I can do to take away this pain.

I refuse to let them see my tears, to have them know how much it's killing me to see them so lost. Instead I catch their eye and smile, hold them and tell them how much I love them and we'll get through this togeter.

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Comment by Sue Clearwater on March 26, 2013 at 5:13am

Comment by Leah Clearwater on February 11, 2010 at 7:50pm
Mom, you shouldn't worry about our burdens. It's taking a toll on you. What happens if this affects on your health? I know you want to look out for us, but somethings you just have to let go and know that we will work it out ourselves. If we need your help or guidence, we'll come to you. You know that. Thank you for worrying about us, but try not to. Please? Love you, mom.
Comment by Sue Clearwater on February 10, 2010 at 3:57pm
My dearest Rach & Becca, your kind words mean so much, you know I love you both and Jacob like my own, I miss your Mum terribly, and you know, I'm always here for you too!


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