Her Pain, my suffering

[Carlisle Cullen MD]

http://thecullensonline.ning.com/group/currentevents/forum/topics/e...

Some thoughts after my conversation with Esme

I sit here writing this feeling completely helpless as Esme slips out the back door in search of her own answers under the guise of needing a hunt. She hunted a day or two ago. She simply needs to be alone. I will be honest, I don't like leaving her alone like this but I must respect her wishes to be left to herself for a while. She has much to wrestle with in her mind and the sooner she lets go and succumbs to the fact that she simply needs closure, the better. I want to follow her but I will not go against her wishes. Guilt is robbing her of her joy and it's improperly placed. She has nothing to feel guilty about. I know that she simply needs answers to things that have plagued her memories for decades. It's only fair that she get what she needs and I want to be supportive and help her to see that it's NOT a bad thing to need this. It's natural for all beings to have closure. Even elephants seek closure after the loss of a pack member. If they run across the bones of a deceased pack member they actually coddle and stroke the bones and take their time doing it as if committing their deceased loved one to memory.

Esme needs to know what happened to Charles. He was the bane of her human life. He brought her nothing but pain, suffering and fear and she needs to know what became of the monster that ruled her life for many years. The emotional toll of the unknown is tearing her apart at the seams and I will not stop trying to help her find her way.