Like every woman on this planet I also wanted a baby a family of my own, reason number one why I hated this life when I was turned and why instead of being grateful to Carlisle for saving me I resented him for some it, I know it took me some time for me to get over that feeling  but in a way I always admire him and Esme for what they were doing, Esme was so sweet and understanding just like a real mother would and even if I sometimes just blocked them away, it wasn’t because I still resented them it was because I felt trapped and I didn’t knew what to do, I could not find myself better said I could not find who I was, without realizing I wanted to find my old self the one that had died in that alley, the one that would never come back, the life that would never come back.

I remember Esme coming to talk to me a lot over that time and she helped me since she understood what I was going through at that moment I know she didn’t fully understood me but she tried, she tried as only a mother would and I truly do love her and Carlisle and I do see them as the parent figures they are to us and I know now that Carlisle was not acting selfishly, he was acting out of the purity of his heart and not just because he wanted a mate for Edward which I might say yes I was upset when he rejected me, but well I cannot blame him, I am not the easiest or sweetest  person in the world.

Like I mentioned, I am not the easiest person in the world to live with but when I found Emmett, life for me now had a different meaning, he became my life my whole world revolved around him secretly at first but then nothing could stop me and I became a different person and that’s when I understood what my friend Vera used to say, Love does change your life. Yes, I’m still not all that sweet and can be difficult to deal with at some moments, but one thing is for sure I love and admire each member of my family and they for sure are my weak spot specially Emmett and Renesmee.

A few months ago Esme made me see how hard Emmett is always trying to make me as happy as possible at that moment I did not understood and we even had an argument one that I really disliked, I had never argued with Esme in that way nor do I ever want to again after all she is my mother, but again thanks to her I realized what I was doing to Emmett, he should not be the only one fighting to make me happy he should not give up what he likes just because of me, we should both be fighting for our happiness we are a couple and I do love him with all that I am and would do anything for him and Esme was right, I was wrong, I cannot change the past but I can change our future and I am doing it or at least trying very hard, I love my husband and he should not be the only one wanting to make me happy I want to make him happy as well even if he says all he needs is me, well I want to show him all I need is him as well.

 

 

 

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Comment by Rosalie Hale on August 25, 2013 at 5:20pm

Thank you and we are doing great, I love Emmett and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him or my family.

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