After a much needed hunt I headed north and came upon Jasper sitting alone in a small clearing. I attempted to speak with him about yesterday's incident. After our confrontation, Esme found us and words were spoken........
Carlisle - Jasper, you do realize the severity of the consequences we would have had to face if our family was exposed yesterday?
Jasper - *My hands tightening beside me into fists, ignoring the surroundings of us as my anger at this man matches my hurt.* Yes Carlisle, I think I have some Idea by now.
Carlisle - It is not only you and I that we must think of, it is also the others. We cannot afford any negative attention
Jasper - *Glaring.* Well you think I do not realize that? You seem to forget some of us do not have the ability for YOUR control. Some of us have to work at this.
Carlisle - My control is not as easy to come by as you may think.
Jasper - Perhaps not, but you seem to forget the journey it took to get that control. You expect me to find it easy, well I don't. You have no idea how I try at this, this is not my choice but I do it for the people I love. *Shaking my head, snarling softly.*
Carlisle - *breaks the stick, feeling the affects of Jasper's anger spilling towards me* Control is something you are very capable of. Yes, I have been controlling myself for much longer than you but you sell yourself short. Your will must be for yourself, not for others
Jasper - *Snickering, my anger building at his words.* And that is meant to make this all better? 'Jasper it's all your fault but you can pull yourself up, I'm so sorry you're a screw up' *Rolling my eyes* Please, You know as well as I how far in the wrong you are also. Oh but wait. I forgot, you are Carlisle, the perfect father in the world, fixer of problems and always right. Screwin' up is not in YOUR nature.
Carlisle - *Clenches my teeth* We all screw up, Jasper. EVERYONE does. It's part of the circle of existence! I do not claim to be perfect. As a matter of fact, I am far from it. I do, however, have a duty to protect this family and I will by ANY means possible!
Jasper - *Snarling* And of course that means that the person who is not of YOUR turning has to suffer, I couldn't give a damn what you do to ME. But really smooth move upsetting your wife and daughter. *Shaking my head, my words no longer making sense in my blind anger.*
Carlisle - *steps closer, anger filling my words* Do you think that because I wasn't the one who changed you that you mean ANY less to me than the others? You are just as much a part of this family as the others. Stop wallowing and own up to your own shortcoming, face your issues and regain the control I KNOW you are capable of!
Jasper - *Moving closer as he yells, a snarl coming from within me.* This is YOUR fault. If I hadn't had to help YOU then we would not be in this right now and Alice would not be sitting at home probably thinkin' I am about to leave her.You know what carlisle, you are worse than us all. You pretend to be all understandin', but really you are just like anyone else. You neglect the things you dont want to believe and tell others when they do themselves. Hell I KNOW I Messed up. I respected YOU. And look where that lead.
Carlisle - *shakes my head speaking low realizing this is going no where fast* This is about our family's safety, not your insecurities.
Jasper - *Shaking my head.* You know what, I'm done. You can go off and lecture someone else, that is all you ever do. I'm done believein' in you to be a father to me. You're just as ignorant as the dirt who runs beside Maria. *Growling.*
Carlisle - A lecture, Jasper, is one sided. We are having a conversation *growls low, slowly losing my patience*
Carlisle - *steps forward, anger seething, eyes growing dark*
Jasper - *Laughing bitterly closer.* But of course, who could tell the difference, you're so used to hearin' your own voice it doesn't matter what the others around you would say.
Carlisle - *affected by Jasper's projected anger, stepping forward into his personal space*
Carlisle - *whispering close to his ear* This family's unrest lies with you. Make a choice, Jasper
Jasper - *Growling.* Step Away from me.
Carlisle - *shakes my head* I'm not the one who steps away from things, Jasper ... Look at you out here! Did you ONCE stop to consider Alice's wishes? HER FEELINGS?
Jasper - *Snarling.* Don't you talk about Alice!
Carlisle - WHY NOT?! She's supposed to be the center of your world! Yet you disregard her feelings as if they don't matter.
Jasper - *Growling.* That is not true!
Carlisle - Isn't it? Where is she Jasper? I don't see her? *looks around exaggerating my gestures* She ISN'T HERE because YOU decided to run off and play WOE IS ME! I used to believe that you and Alice were the perfect match and now I'm starting to doubt that to my very core I see now, old dogs, new tricks *shakes my head* She deserves better than this, Jasper. And YOU KNOW IT
Jasper - *Snarling and pushing him back away from me into the trees, his words ringing in my head, mirroring my own emotion almost exactly, how unlike him... realizing then that it is my own projection on to him and turning tail, running into the forrest.*
Carlisle - *hits the tree breaking it in 1/2 sending it crashing into the forest*
Carlisle - *sits quietly, feeling my anger dissipate as he runs off, realizing I was affected by his own projected emotions*
Edward - *Bursts into the clearing seeing Carlisle's twisted face of rage, hearing his thoughts of the fight, and of Jasper's disapearance* Carlisle..? *Doesn't wait for a reply, and takes off into the woods after Jasper, growling through clenched teeth*
Carlisle - *holds my head with both hands whispering to myself* What have I done?
Carlisle - *looks up seeing the blurr of Edward disappear into the trees*
Esme - *Runs into the clearing hearing the growls of the fight, the snap of a tree, knowing we are too late, watching as Edward runs off into the woods, and carefully approaches Carlisle* Are you alright?
Carlisle - *doesn't look up* Physically? Yes. Emotionally? no
Esme - *Keeps my distance, unsure of how to handle the situation* What happened here?
Carlisle - *stands slowly, brushing the dirt and leaves from my clothes* I don't know *stares blankly in the direction that Jasper and Edward disappeared*
Esme - *Follows your gaze, standing behind you for the moment* How can you not know? Where is Jasper?
Esme - Carlisle...Answer me...Where is our SON!
Carlisle - *points*
Esme - Is that all you are going to do? POINT? *Growls* What.Have.You.DONE!
Carlisle - *looks at you, hurt and rage still fresh in my heart* Of course *speaks softly, clenching my fists* What I've done. Right
Carlisle - yes.. because you know..it couldn't POSSIBLY be because of Jasper's actions. No no.. he's the golden child *looks to your eyes, mine flashing dark*
Esme - *Takes a deep breath, growling harshly through my clenched teeth* Do you not understand how much this famly needs your guidance? You are acting like - *pauses, thinking* Like a monster...pure and simple!
Carlisle - *continues, ignoring your words* You're always coddling him, listening to his inane excuses time after time. When will the danger become real to you, Esme?
Carlisle - *turns and looks into the clearing* perhaps it will become real when the Volturi return again after he loses control AGAIN and NONE OF US are around to STOP HIM?
Esme - C-Coddling him? *Stands back, looking at you in shock* Well one of us has to be the support he needs, and it's OBVIOUSLY not going to be YOU! *narrows my eyes* You are not the man I married...how could you do this to our family?
Carlisle - You speak of support *chuckles*
Carlisle - *starts walking slowly, shaking my head*
Esme - Perhaps if you would allow me to be there for you, instead.. *Starts to raise my voice as you walk away* Instead of walking away EVERY time...you would HAVE that support!
Carlisle - Maybe you're right *turns, dropping my hands at my side*
Esme - *Pulls a letter from my pocket, clutching it in my hands* I had hoped that our next encounter would be under better circumstances. I wrote this to you last night... Here's your support... *Throws the letter right at you* http://thecullensonline.ning.com/profiles/blogs/a-plea-to-carlisle
Esme - *Walks up to you* I am right, I know I am right.
Carlisle - *catches the letter, opening it to read*
Esme - Why bother reading it Carlisle? You've already made your mind up. Jut throw it away like you've been doing for the past two days.
Carlisle - *pockets the letter* What do you want from me?
Carlisle - TELL ME *raises my voice*
Esme - I came here to help you. I came here to make you understand how much I need you! *Cringes back from you as you shout* I want my husband back...my family BACK!
Carlisle - *speaks low* Talk to your SON..He has driven this wedge into the family, NOT ME *throws the letter on the ground*
Esme - How can I possibly speak to him? I can't even FIND him! And it IS your fault! You were supposed to be there for him, for our family. *looks to the letter* You need to apologzie and make this RIGHT!
Carlisle - Of course *says sarcastically* I'll get right on that
Esme - *Throws my hands up in frustration* Do you not understand that I am your WIFE? Don't take your anger out on me, Carlisle. We were supposed to be together through EVERYTHING...remember your promise? Or does that mean nothing to you?
Carlisle - *Stares, listening to her words still wondering how this whole thing became MY fault*
Esme - *Shakes my head* I am not siding with either of you. I just want what is best for the family, and that is you making amends with Jasper. Please...for the sake of our family...for us... please.
Carlisle - Not siding with either one of us, just Jasper, right? *chuckles* Think about what you're accusing me of
Esme - Carlisle...how can you say that? *Steps back from you* I am not acusing you of anything. I am asking you to rise above this and be the man I know you are.
Carlisle - Sure, Rise above possible erradication by the hands of the Volturi. I'll consider it, thanks
Esme - That's it.. *growls* If Alice and Jasper leave our family, I will NEVER forgive you..*Turns on my heels, whispering* When you find the man I married..let me know. *Takes off into the woods, trying to hide my sobs*
Carlisle - *watches her disappear, picking up the letter and reading it, word for word, over and over again*
Carlisle - *walks off, letter in hand heading west towards the ocean*