No sooner do you celebrate a birthday these days and the next one seems to be just around the corner. I remember when I was a kid and time moved so slow, birthdays took forever to come around. The slowest were the milestone birthdays of course. I remember when I was 10, I just couldn't wait to turn 16. "Sweet 16" as everyone says, and I remember being so excited, I'm sure I drove my family crazy. The funny thing was, by the end of that first week of being "sweet 16" I was feeling a little…

I have no words to describe the pain that I have felt in my heart. Watching what Leah has had to suffer and never truly being able to help her, other than being there for her, it broke my heart... plain and simple it broke my heart. Honestly though? I know it was never enough... all of our late night or all night talks, it was a band-aid solution at best. Don't misunderstand me, Lee and I have always had a great relationship and we have been there for each other through the very best and the…

Well it's been a little while hasn't it, since I said I would let you know how I faired. Let me start by stating the obvious... I "physically" survived my night at the movies with Seth, though I'm still tempted to check under the bed or behind the door every now and again. Don't even get me started on high I've jumped if a breeze comes through the room and a door starts to swing shut or open in response. I know that all sounds crazy but when you are as frightened of scary movies, as I am.…

Closing my eyes briefly, my hand still clutching the door handle, "C'mon Ma, that won't save you", Seth chuckles as he pries my fingers from the door, and leads us straight to the front counter. "You never know", I mutter but further discussion is temporarily thwarted by the ever smiling young Stacey and Seth moving across to the ticket window.

"Hi Mrs Clearwater, what can I get you?" Several suggestions including "Please hide me", flit across my mind but I smile and order a large…

Summer.

We are halfway through Summer and I can honestly say that for the first time in a long time that I am happy. Not just content but truly happy, that is not always an easy thing to say... but there you have it, I am.

Maybe it's the fact that Seth has transferred to the local college and is home once again, I am sure that is a large factor. Also, for some unknown and mystical reason, he and Leah seem to be actually getting on a lot better these days. I no longer constantly…

You know those rare days when everything just seems to run along smoothly? Well I definitely had one of those days. The weather was perfect as I drove to work and who can ask for more than that! The twins Maddy & Tim were celebrating their 7th birthday and Julie (their Mom) was there waiting for me, mail in hand I might add... bless her. Jule's chatted while I…

In the grand scheme of things, we are all only here for the blink of an eye... each and every one of us. (with the exception of certain company)

Unfortunately, as the years pass us by... we have to say goodbye to the ones who leave us behind. It doesn't matter whether you think you are ready or not, the hurt and pain of losing a beloved family member or friend will leave you feeling like your are gasping for air and turn your world upside down. And each time you experience a new loss,…

I awoke with a gasp, my heart beating one hundred miles a minute and that horrific sense of knowing that everything is not alright... You always assume that when you wake from a nightmare that everything will be ok. Right? What if waking up to the reality is far worse?

I felt like a stranger in my home, hell I felt like an intruder in my own life. Apologies, for I would normally not use such language but at this moment... I am beyond caring.

We tip toe through this house and…

"Sue....... Have you seen my new fly?" Rolling my eyes as I continued to pack Seth's clothes, "Take a look in that third drawer Harry, the one in my grandmother's dresser". The rattling continued from downstairs until I heard a triumphant FOUND IT! And then, "Why do we have a hockey puck in here?" followed by..."Now if I can just find my favourite hook to go with it", he went back to muttering as the telephone rang in the background. "Daddy's funny", Seth laughed as he wandered around the…

Emily's eyes flickered as I knelt down beside her... her eyes were searching my face as though she needed to pour out her heart to me. "Shh Emmy, everything is going to be alright, no talking ok". I smiled reassuringly to her and nodded to Jarod to keep her still as he cradled her gently in his arms. As an experienced nurse I was used to seeing trauma, but this was different... this was Emily! It wasn't just that I had known Emily since the day she was born, she and Leah had grown up like…

Like most children growing up, I would sit down before christmas and write my "Dear Santa" letter, outlining how I had been on my best behaviour that year and because I had been such a good girl, "Santa could I possibly have the following....". And now this year with Christmas day fast approaching and my own children well past their own "Dear Santa" letter days, I find myself writing not a letter to Santa but a Christmas wish in my journal.

"My Christmas Wish....

That each of…

I have never been a fan of horror films something that my family and friends are well aware of. It has been a yearly tradition for some time now, for myself and Liseli to go into lockdown so to speak on Halloween. After the majority of trick-or-treaters have made the rounds we seek refuge at either's house and relax with a glass of wine a bowl of popcorn. Of course we also like to watch what we would consider to be an entertaining Halloween movie. Of late our yearly tradition has included…