Remembering the past.

[View Blog]

Days left: 26

"Time never seemed to go by so fast than this summer. Its' like I just got to Forks a week ago, and then WOOPS. It's back to college again. I really hate summer. Summer makes things so difficult. Especially when you come home and see how life keeps moving on with out you. It's depressing."

Thinking to myself as I lay on my back, arms crisscrossed around my head. Steadying the breaths that come out of my limp body, not wanting to get over excited by the thoughts that drowned my head. Lay there soundlessly, not making any movement to interrupt my thinking.

"The thought of leaving this place is almost as worse as being left alone. I don't WANT to leave. I want to stay home. I love being with my mom..." trails off to the thought of leaving her again. The pain in my heart growing. Closing my eyes to fight back a tear, thinking of the pain and the loneliness Mom must feel with me and Mya Ann gone. Shaking my head, getting rid of the thought.

Sits up, allowing myself to balance the weight of my torso on my fore arms that sit beside me, looking around the room, admiring how nothing has changed over the past years. How Mom has kept everything the same. Looking at every detail in my bedroom. The Green Day poster that still hung from when Mya Ann and I went to their concert in Seattle, the chess board game on the table next to the window. The little things haven't even touched either. Lets out a big sigh, getting up from my bed and walks across the hall and opens the door that's been shut since I've been home.

"Mya Ann's room." Flips on the light switch, looking up to see the fan run, and the lights flicker on from it. Walks into the room slowly, noticing her room still intact from before she left to College in Montana. Smiling at her bed. All her stuff animals lined up nicely like Mom used to make it, noticing Mr. Snuggles and laughs. "I thought she took you with her all those years ago, dude."

Grabbing the familiar monkey from the bed, still smiling. Looking at him with contentment that he's where he's suppose to be, and sets him back down in the pile where he belong. Looking around the room more, noticing the matching Green Day poster that hung on her wall as well, along with her hot celebrity "boyfriends" she had a thing for back in high school. Nods to myself, walking towards the door of Mya Ann's old bedroom and looking back to take in the sameness that still stays in the spot where she left things last and smiles to myself; turning off the light switch and shutting the door behind me.