When asked about what family means to me, I automatically think about my Mom. She basically raise me herself, she worked alot to keep the bills payed and food on the table. She would come home after working a long day, she'd let me help make supper, we'd sit at the table and do crafts and bake things together. She did everything thing she could to give me the best childhood she could. My father left us when I was about 3 I think, I don't really remember much about him. I really don't talk much about him, it angers me to no end. So when my Mom called a few nights back, saying that my Father had called and was wanting to speak with me, I was less then happy to say the least. I forced myself to forget the conversation the instant I hung up the phone. I made my way back upstairs to Emily and Shay, tucking her in and saying our good nights.
I layed awake for what seemed like forever, wondering, why my Father would want to try contacting me after all this time? Why did he leave in the first place? The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. I slid out of bed, and quietly crept downstairs and out the front door. The second I broke through the treeline I phased, I needed to think. I didn't want to wake Emily and upset her with something that was my problem. As I ran I let out all the anger that had been festering inside me for years. It was childish, having such a tandrum. Irresposible even, but somehow it helped. I stayed out until the sun started to rise. I quickly ran home, sighing as I walk in the front door, seeing Emily laying on the couch asleep, knowing she must have woken up to find me gone. Feeling terrible for having just left her without saying anything, or leaving a note. I lifted her carefully and carried her up to bed, smiling as she snuggled into me as I layed down beside her.
Later that morning as we woke up, I knew Emily was going to beupset over me walking away from her, she wanted to know what was going on. She deserved to know, she was my wife and I was even more upset with myself for making her feel like this, but I was not sure if I was ready to tell her the real reason of everything, so I just said the first thing that came to mind but I made her feel worse, after a moment all I could say was that it was a moment of weakness, Emily didn't question me any longer but I knew it was not enough that I had to tell her sooner or later, but I just didn't want to upset her any further in her state.
The rest of the day I thought about what had happened, even if Em and I had talked I knew something was not right, I could feel it and I was not wrong because when I got home, I felt her distancing herself from me. It was all my fault, I tried to act natural but when Shay told me Em had been crying I broke down, and knew I had to tell her, and so I did. She was so supportive, even more than what I deserved ..... I explained to her that I didn't ever intend to, nor would I ever,leave her like my Father did to my Mom and I. I just needed some space to think and to blow off some steam. After spending the morning working it out, Emily and I agreed that I wasn't ready to decide, not yet. Maybe it's just best if I forgive and forget