Darkness

[Carlisle Cullen MD]

Immortality.

With immortality comes much more than you could ever know. Imagine a day that simply never ends. No sleep, no dreams, no fresh beginning to a new day. It all blends into one giant mass of time. On occasion, not so very often, do I find myself standing at the window gazing out daydreaming about growing old. I then look in the mirror and see myself, exactly the same as I was in the mid 1600s. Untouched by time, gravity and life. It's a stark reminder of loss.

I'm sure you are wondering what I'm talking about. I refer to the loss of family, friends and my human roots. Because of our secret we can not keep friendships for long, we must move with frequency to hide what and who we are. If we remain untouched by time for too long, we risk being detected. We choose to exist as normal as possible, and thus suffer more loss than most who are like we are. We make friends and forge relationships with the humans we work with and live among but sadly those relationships are short lived and must be severed within a few years. This causes emotional pain and stress on all involved yet without them we are empty shells. It's a Catch 22 really, damned if we do, damned if we don't so we press onward, trying as often as possible to live in the moment and block out the realization that it will all come to an end, much faster than we know.