Butterflies of Spring

[Benjamin Naifeh Atiyeh]

 

I wander through the house looking for Tia.  I realize she must be over visiting with Kebi.  Since Amun disappeared Kebi has not been her self.  Tia and I are really worried about her.

 

Looking down at the couch in the living room… I notice Tia has placed an afghan there.  It is an afghan that I made many years ago out of frustration with Amun.  I was a fledgling then.  I was learning to control my “abilities” and how to be a vampire.  Amun was being very disagreeable at this time.  I am certain that he was just as frustrated with me as I was with him.  I understood the importance of these “abilities” and a sense that Amun may want to control me and them. 

 

I knew that I could harm or kill him.  I didn’t want to do that and felt in my heart that it would be wrong.

 

So, I set about trying to focus some energy into a positive way.  I came upon a craft store.  Maybe a hobby would distract me.  I had a lot of time on my hands and since I didn’t need sleep maybe a hobby would help.  I walked into the store and stopped dead in my tracks.  So many things to choose from, building model cars or airplanes, floral design, sewing, knitting, crocheting, cake decorating, painting, etc.

 

I decided I didn’t want the odor of the models or painting (I don’t know how Alice can stand the odor!).  Floral design not my thing either.  I wanted something quiet.  Something that I could take with me in my nomadic life, knitting… no to complicated of instructions and my yarn kept falling of the needles.  Crocheting? The stitches seemed to be easy to follow; the items to be made were a variety from clothing to blankets to accessories.  So, I tried it and little by little I was able to master the simplest up to the more complex and elaborate stitches.  My first project was a simple blue blanket with butterflies in the middle of the squares and edged with a simple stitch making this an amazing blanket.  The vibrant colors of the butterflies (blues, black, rose, lavender and copper) against the main color of light blue.  The pattern was not in itself a complex one.

I had mastered the stitches.  The challenge became piecing them together one by one.  I had choices that I hadn’t seen before.  Amun was pushing me in a direction that I didn’t want for myself.  As I pieced the blanket together I became more aware of who I was, what I wanted and expected of myself.

 

Amun would never be able to convince me to use my “abilities” his way.  In the end it is always my choice and I would need to live with the result.

 

Looking at the afghan now I can see some of my early mistakes.  I have gotten better but I have been told that the mistakes are a common thing with hand made items.  I have learned to live with the mistakes.  I have learned to love Amun as my father, Kebi as a friend and mother and Tia as my soul mate.