Lying on my bed at the cottage, I run down the fight again and just find myself getting more frustrated and upset. I hate fighting with Jake and usually we fight about silly stuff, like me going somewhere and not telling him or if I go on a hunt alone.  Things were we both get upset and then see the silliness and end up laughing about it.

But tonight’s fight was so different, it was seriously a grown up fight and to me a window into fights as a married couple one day.  A fight that for a moment I wondered if this whole thing is really worth all the fuss, but then my heart tells me to not over react and to be sure that Jake and me we are destiny.

I suppose the imprinting can be both a curse and a blessing. I mean how many girls can say 100% sure that they are going to marry their one sole mate. The one person that was truly made just for you and no one else. Well I can say that, Jake imprinted on me it means that by the wise spirits of old I am his chosen one and he is mine.

Look all girls have moments of insecurity even me, I know silly right. But when Jake and I started to move to more than just best friends, I use to wonder what if there was no imprinting. No bond that pulls him so close to me that if we are apart we both feel physical pain. Will he still want me, will I still make him so happy.

But imprint or not, I know for sure Jake loves me and of course the imprinting sometimes makes that a whole other issue. You can take this fight we had as a great example. I know I over reacted and so did he and I know when we sit down and talk about it calmly we will both come to the same conclusion.

Jake’s imprinting makes him want to protect and look after me in a very serious way.  This past year or 2 since our relationship have become more romantic, he has had to learn to allow me to do some things and to be in danger so I can learn how to take care of myself and also for him to learn that as much as he wants he can’t be around me 24/7. This has been very hard on him at times and I suppose the money and providing for me once where married and have our family is another one of those feelings that so strong. But like the protecting he also has to let me be a partner in our relationship and in how we contribute to the household. I know this one is going to be a bit harder and of course being a Cullen ad a bit of extra tension to it.  

So in the morning I will go look for him and talk to him. I know he is probably also thinking about this now and probably have volunteered to be out on patrol. For Jake running around alone helps to clear his head and who knows maybe he can talk to Sam about it. I am sure Sam and Emily had the same fights when they started their lives together.

You have to admire how hard he works and carefully plan things to make sure that his garage is not only too expensive but also not too far from me.

 

I know Jake loves me and only wants the best for us.  Looking at this whole incident I am more than ever sure that I am so ready for the future talk and the future itself.

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Comment by Blair Mell on June 25, 2013 at 5:36am

Don't we all have that !

Comment by Renesmee Black-Cullen on June 25, 2013 at 5:26am

Thanks Lisa, I suppose loving someone is learning to give and receive. I think sometimes I have a very stubburn independant spirit. *laughs Softly*

Comment by Blair Mell on June 25, 2013 at 5:07am

I am glad you have everything planned and working out Ness I really am glad Jake is taking care of you

~Lisa

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