Seth. What a twit. Right now I’d love to throw him right in front of an ongoing train. Of course, I’d regret it later if he didn’t manage to get away in time. But still, he damn right deserved it. He had – no, has – no idea what he put mom through. I’d get back from patrol, or head out on patrol and there would be mom, zombified and watching the front door. I was always late for patrol on those nights because I’d have to pretty much drag her to bed, those stress-lines and heavy eyes…

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He and I have never been the best of buddies. Quite the opposite, we pretty much hated being around each other. I could be talking about any of the members of my current or past pack – they all disliked being around me, I’m not going to hide that fact. Making those around suffer along with me, I didn’t really enjoy doing, though I made the impression that I did. I couldn’t help those thoughts come to me whenever I was around Sam. The first to snap at me was surprisingly not Paul – who I had… Continue

What is it like being a wolf?

It’s something I clearly do…

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At 15 you don’t really take that much interest in the world around you. Teenagers only care about their popularity ranks and themselves. It was a beautiful Fall day, a cloudless day. Something you don’t really get here in La Push often. It was tempting taking the day off school. Unfortunately mom made sure I walked through the gate with a smile and a wave from the car. The bell rang at 8:30am for the students to make their way to their first class. I stopped by my locker, which was in one of… Continue

Almost everyone sees her as the ‘peace bringer’ between us shape shifters and the bloodsuckers. I see her as an annoying interfering brat who brought more trouble to us than good. The first time I met Bella was at Jacob’s one night for dinner. Although I was on the phone for the majority of the time to a friend telling…

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Any girl who I see lately gets on my nerves. Beginning with that pile of makeup they put on everyday that must take them a few minutes, but they say it takes hours. Cursing under my breath each time I see one, somehow it stops me from losing my head. Do they have to represent all girls and make us all seem ridiculous? Every time I see one of those fake plastic bimbos my jaw clenches. For heaven’s sake, do they look in the mirror in the morning and honestly think they look ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’? God,… Continue

Valentine’s Day. A day I have come to hate. Once I looked upon this day as a day I’d spend with Sam. He’d devote his whole day towards me and my day to him. A ‘surprise’ bouquet of flowers on the front porch would always greet me in the morning. Sam would have planned the whole day out. We even skipped a day of school…

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Pretending only helps for a while. It masks the true feelings that lay beneath. At first pretending was the key, to push it aside and to forget about it. But when it becomes more common around you it’s harder to keep under that blanket. Imprinting was part of the legends, an uncommon occurrence. I’m sure they would re-write those stories if they saw what’s happening now. As each member of the pack imprint it leaves me to the thought of: what about us Clearwaters? The thought of never being able… Continue

Being protective of Seth has been something I have done since he was born. Nobody could pick on my brother, but me. I was the one who watched Seth every moment when he began walking, because for the first few times he had managed to get to eggs on his head from walking into a table and the bookcase. So I took the role of watching him for mom. When Seth started school on the reservation I promised mom I wouldn’t get annoying and to not ‘keep checking up on him’. Like I’d do that...with him… Continue

Some get over their first phase. Some think it was a brilliant event that they would never change for the world. And some wish it never happened – I am one of those. If it never happened, Harry: my dad, wouldn’t have died. One kid being a werewolf may have been alright, that could have been Seth. Everything would have been fine. No girl wolves, it could have all stuck to the legends. He probably thought Seth might have the possibility to change, but me, his daughter; it never occurred to… Continue

There have been many different things about me, ever since I was a kid. It didn’t just start when I first phased, the first different thing about me wasn’t the fact that I was the first girl wolf. I can only remember ever having one doll as a child...I cut all the Barbie’s hair off before pulling its head off and throwing it out my bedroom door for mom to pick up. While most girls played with Barbie dolls, doll houses and fake plastic make-up, I went fishing with my dad. When I got my special… Continue

Seeing as Christmas is drawing nearer, I thought I'd share one of the many Christmas events that have occurred in my family.



So Christmas time's back. I’m not afraid to admit that it’s my favorite time of the year. It’s the one time that I find myself with a smile on my face, the one time I don’t snap at everyone as many times as I usually do. It was Christmas Eve when I was 11; my family and I were all sitting in our small lounge room singing Christmas carols like we do every year.… Continue

There are many things that I cannot describe with words. Feelings are like that, there’s never one word to describe a certain emotion that you could be feeling at that point in time. That’s what it’s like for me on a constant basis. The wolves may believe they know my feelings – hearing my thoughts and such – but they have no idea how hard I try to keep the real emotions from showing. Sure, I’ve slipped up a few times, but then I just snap at whoever may be listening in on my thoughts and they… Continue