merry christmas to all of you to, as i sit here at 3 in the morning,sleep has yet eluded me again,i,m know i,m going to have to just tell my main rule rule (tell the rude truth) and tell my sister, i just want to be left out of the family dinner today),she has ask me to keep my mouth shut and not tell whats on my mind,,(that they all need to make there own traditions and stay the hll at there own houses on any of the holidays from now own! my sister thinks she has to work for a whole month, for this one day, i wont be part of it, she a peace maker, and i,ve tried to prepare myself, 3 hours of bein around people i dont see but once or twice a year,,their christians , wanna be christians anyways, i,m not, i,m a mistic, i talk to all the gods, whoever is listining at the time, i have already celabrated the soltice, and it was a beautiful sunset this year,i,ve made my peace, but i wont see her age as she has done this past month.if the truth wont do, then i,ll just tell her, i,ve fell down, thats not a lie, i did hve a little fall getting up , not a bad one, but she dont have to know that, i am a woman termanater reject,lol.when tey put me back togeather in 94, 8 months later i fell apart, they had to put me back togeather again,i walk, 7 more years of hell and i learned how to (fake) walking on my own, so, i,m here, i walk, my brain still works good, but i have a problem with keeping my mouth shut when i see things i know is not right in my heart. i thank you for includeing me in your (family),i have no clue as how to (role ) play, but i promise i,ll never lie to any of you, as i know some of you are the (real ) deal,,,peace and love from the foothills,,,and i wish you all a great comeing year,,,,elisa faye