Not a Good Day

[mary]

Today I learned one of my patients has liver cancer. I suspected as much when I first touched the dog.Something did not feel right. I did the regular exam, tests, and follow up. It was apparent this was a case that would not end well. I have grown very fond of the patient and the owner. The owner is a good one who does all she can to keep her canine family members healthy. She trusts me with her precious pets. She has a strong tie to her pets. I know delivering such news will devastate her. How do you ever find the right words. How do you make the words the kindest and most compassionate that you can. Nothing seems enough to take away such pain. I feel drained from the termoil in my heart and soul since I do not want to hurt her with the news but must be honest. There is an ache in my heart that leaves a hole that will not fill for I am losing my patient . Often when words do not come I just embrace the owner and say I am sorry. I know that this connection has cost me much pain and I have often cryed with them. I know this is getting too close and it takes its toll but I can be no different. So as always I will grieve the loss with the owner and hope to see this wonderful creature again in a better place. This has not been a good day.