Irritating Summers

[Jane Volturi]

Humans are so easily amused and excited.  It perturbs me greatly.  I can't help but wonder if I was as naive as the human children I see today, chasing each other with weapons that shoot water.  Doesn't it only further engrain the violent nature that humans seem to have for killing one another?  Summers bother me because it seems I am always surrounded by unintelligent humans.  A good meal is always tainted with the bitter taste of alcohol.  Can't humans of age have a summer without alcoholic beverages?  Summer, to them, seems like an excuse they give to become intoxicated and have their way with each other...if you know what I am referring to.  For that, I am glad I was turned as a child.  I'll never experience that sordid experience where humans honestly sound like they're being murdered, while in fact it's...pleasurable.  

That is why during the summer months, I do visit Utah for my meals.  It is located in the United States.  I have found this population of humans of being quite pure of alcohol and other acts that ruin the human blood and body.  And the humans!  My!  There are just so many of them in Utah!  I will not get into my thoughts why I believe they have a booming population there, but know it's not appropriate for all eyes to read.  I do appreciate the humans of Utah, though.  And when one of them...maybe I'm underestimating...when five of them go missing, they seem to replace the missing family member with a brand new child.  Ah, the circle of life keeps the meals ever plentiful in Utah.

After a wonderful feast in Utah, I do travel to Arizona during the monsoon season.  If you have never been witness to their summer monsoons, you must before you die...if you are a human reading this memoir.  The booming thunder, the flash of lightning, and the pounding rain that echos throughout an abandoned house is lovely!  On more than one occasion, I've found myself standing in the rain and enjoying how the fat raindrops bombard my cloak.  In fact, this is where I am now.  If anyone has been wondering where I've been, I've been enjoying Arizona's summer monsoon season.  I happened to come across a neighborhood one night where there were once walking paths.  After a plentiful rain, those walking paths were drowned and in it's place was what looked to be a lake.  I witnessed a few humans enjoying this time just as much as I was and watched them wade into the water as if to take a swim.  I had hoped the woman would be bitten by a rattlesnake or stung by the most poisonous, transparent scorpion in the area just so I could pretend to suck the venom from her while, in reality, getting my fill.  Unfortunately, two men joined her and I became quickly disgusted.  I could only image those three following the stereotype I mentioned up above about "humans during summer."  I was sure they were going to have a "good time," as most humans put it.  

Disgusting.

I hate summers, but I love the Arizona monsoon.  Once the monsoons pass, I will return to Volterra where I hope my siblings have left all of my things where they were and have not pulled any pranks on me.  Like I've mentioned before, I am passed the pranking phase.