Most people say there past is the easiest to forget when really its not. See I grew up with no father and not muc of my mother but she is with me now. See I didn't know tell 1 month ago from the time I was born till I was 6 my father didn't think I was his daughter he thought it was a mistake and well it was hard to find this out right after I had been in his marriage as his new wifes maid of honor.

 

Now I don't know how to talk to him he keeps telling me he loves me but how do I know he is not lying. Now with what ihave been though not just with him but with my mom and everyone hating me where i go to school just because i'm "different" I don't know who to believe for anything. My mother has hurt me in the past to in who how many ways possible. I don't think getting yelled at 24/7 is love i think its hate, but what do I know i'm only 14 going into Honors classes in High School and Collage prep classes, So I know nothing, right? 

 

I just really don't understand my past and why my dad wouldn't want me I was great growing up and I still am but I just don't know why he didn't love me. I always needed a dad in my life and to say the truth everyday I got off my bus in front of my house i would step down, close my eyes and wish the biggest wish that he would be inside waiting on me and I was always disappointed*closes eyes and feels week at memory*. And well my grandparents are not big helpers at all with my past even though I need them. And I mean I don't even know what i'm doing I feel like no one loves me even though my family says they do, but who am I to believe when they always lied?

 

Please comment if you have anything to say or any questions... Thank you for reading this.. :/

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Comment by Danielle Diaz on July 23, 2011 at 11:57am

look i lost my mother at the age of 10. she loved me a lot. like other ppl said, 'people show love in different ways'  you should believe it. like the saying goes 'no one is perfect'  i guarantee you, everyone shows love in there own ways and you don't need to discourage yourself. keep your head up high and reach for the stars.

 

                                                                                                                                                Danielle

Comment by Crystal Dawn on July 23, 2011 at 11:44am

Thank you so much for your kind words and I will try my hardest to move forwar and leave the past.(:

 

Crystal

Comment by Sasha R on July 23, 2011 at 11:14am

This reminds me much of my own childhood.

I never knew my father was alive until I was 10 and he never even knew I existed.

When I was younger, my mother treated me like I was just a stress reliever. I got shouted at all the time and I too felt as though no one loved me. Your mother loves you, for you are her child. She is probably, like most parents in that situation, hurting on the inside too. So she feels that shouting would in a way, help her and protect you.

Your dad is your dad and, yes, he thought you weren't his, but now that he knows, his love for you is just as strong as your mother's. 

When I was a child, I thought I would grow up being a hopeless human being, but faith and belief in myself has helped me to move on. So, try to leave the past behind, and live in the present. It is hard, I know, but if you try, anything is possible. :)

 

Renee

 

Comment by Carlisle Cullen MD on July 23, 2011 at 4:32am

Sometimes we allow ourselves to live in the past far too much. I Think it's time that you reflect inward, believe in yourself, move forward. You are unique, you are special and you are important.
Communication is the biggest and most helpful tool you have right at your disposal. The only way to really know what other's are feeling is to simply ask.
Lay things on the line, be direct and no matter what, ALWAYS go for what you believe in.

~CC 

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