Lonliness

[Bridget Hornbeck]

According to the Webster Dictionary the word Lonely has a few different definitions; being without company : cut off from others : solitary: not frequented by human beings : desolate: sad from being alone : lonesome: producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation...So after i read these i have to sit back and wonder which one of these pertains to me because i have this god awful feeling of lonliness even when im compleltly surrounded by people...So i read this definition and come up with the answer to which of these is what im feeling and i have to say it is producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation because bleakness means not hopeful and encouraging and desolation means grief and sadness...

And i can honestly say that i feel this alot latley because i try to make plans and things dont go the way i need them to which makes me begin to feel that i have no hope in life and that honestly make me feel sad...

But all at the same time i feel completly alone as in without company no one is around like im standing in a crowd of people screaming and no one hears me...Like i dont exist. I have had dreams where i am standing in front of a crowd of people screaming for help and no one even looks not even the family i have in that room... I wish that someone could tell me what this means.

I know i have friends and family that love me but most of my friends and family have or are starting their own families whether that be getting married or having children or even just simply making a move... i know that they will always be my friends or family but eventually they will go their own ways and again makes me feel alone... So there I am again feeling completely separated from the world like I belong no where and with no one