It just brings it all back

[Carlisle Cullen MD]

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I've felt distanced from my family lately. Work has been over whelming. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I have tried, these last few days, to leave work related stress at work but I simply am not able to.
Esme is starting to notice and I don't want to burden her with my intense feelings of grief.
I am losing a patient, a human life, and I can do nothing.
Sometimes it helps when I write. Sadly, not this time. As I sit here and write this, moments slip away. I remember being human and the fear I felt right before I lost my human life.
I grieve, silently for this young man of 16 years; so much like my Edward. This is too close to home. Too close.
-Carlisle Cullen MD

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[mary]

Carlisle,
Losing a patient is never easy. You often question what could I have done different, what did I miss. If you are a compassionate doctor it doesn't get any easier with the passing years of practice. When it does and the loss does not effect you then it is time to give up the profession. You have then lost the ability to be the best doctor for your patients. I know the frustration of not being able to cure every patient but sometimes a higher power just says no. This is how I deal with the grief in lossing a patient but again it still eats away at me and takes its toll. I guess it is the price that must be paid for being a compassionate doctor.