Esme Anne Cullen's Blog – December 2012 Archive (12)

Love Comes

November passed with me learning better control of my lust for human blood. I found myself finding reasons to be near Carlisle, finding a warmth in his eyes and smile and a strong bond of trust. Edward entertained us with the piano and we all took turns reading to each other from Shakespeare’s Sonnets and occasionally reading a play or two. Other authors found their way into our hands and some nights, we sat playing cards and games. Carlisle taught me to play chess and soon, I was beating…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 26, 2012 at 8:29pm — 3 Comments

Fear Undone

I had not anticipated the difficulty of the journey to Ohio. I started out at the railway station but the overwhelming smell of the human blood almost drove me to a frenzy. I made it two steps in and had to force myself to run out. I ran off into the streets, flames of thirst scorching my throat, burning away the reason Carlisle had tried to teach me. I found myself in an alley facing a thug with a knife. I didn’t have to have Edward’s talent to know what he was thinking and before he could…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 18, 2012 at 5:30pm — 1 Comment

Cautionary Tales

I worked at keeping my plans from my mind whenever I knew Edward was around. I didn’t want him to know, or to tell Carlisle. I busied myself cleaning the house, arranging the furniture and going out to walk when I felt my thoughts intruding.  Carlisle found me out walking and joined me, never saying a word. He would point out flora and fauna, telling me what he knew about them. I found myself distracted and intrigued by him and wanted to know more of his history.


When I…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 16, 2012 at 8:45am — No Comments

Vengeance Planned

My adjustment in the first few days was spent learning from Carlisle abut vampires. It took some getting used to, the fact I didn’t get tired or need sleep, the speed and power. My newborn hunger was ever present, though, and there were many hunting trips. Carlisle and Edward both explained that they didn’t feel it necessary to attack humans when the animal blood did just as well to slake the thirst. I could see it was easier for them, having been this way for much longer, since I felt the…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 15, 2012 at 9:36pm — No Comments

Everlasting Awakening

I was confused. Everything felt like it was electrified, as if there were a summer storm in my brain. Colors were so intense, I thought if I touched them they would spill onto me. I could smell things I never noticed, the earth, grass, a bird, and…strangely, pears and lavender.


I could hear every heartbeat, the breath of creatures I couldn’t see. What I didn’t hear were the heartbeats of the two men standing in front of me.


I knew Doctor Cullen, although I…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 12, 2012 at 3:31am — No Comments

Time No More

There was nothing. I lay at the shoreline at the bottom of the cliff, broken in body and spirit. The will to live had left me, and I wished for the end to come. I knew it hadn’t happened yet, as I was aware of the sounds of Lake Superior, the wind, the wildlife. But I saw nothing, felt nothing. I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to, and that was fine with me. I wished to become a part of nature now, and to disappear in her embraces.


I heard the people find me, the sounds of…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 11, 2012 at 5:58pm — No Comments

An End of Time

That feeling of hope followed me into Illinois then Wisconsin. I arrived at my cousin’s house and received a warm welcome. Being with real family again was good for my soul, and as I started to show in my pregnancy, the spark of hope fanned.


Just before Christmas, I found out that Charles had discovered where I was and knew I was carrying his child. The family gathered and planned a way for me to leave before he arrived to collect me. They were going to tell him that I had…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 10, 2012 at 6:52pm — No Comments

Out of the Frying Pan

With Charles’s return home, my world became gray and bleak again. His attitude hadn’t changed, if anything, it was worse. He had learned in his time away how to hide what he was doing to me, making sure not to leave a visible mark. Although he didn’t realize it, there were visible marks on me, noticed in my demeanor.


Knowing it would be suspect if he returned and we suddenly shut off our charitable work, he allowed us to continue. He was a smart man, and realized that Papa’s…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 10, 2012 at 3:10am — No Comments

Beaten Down

The wedding was planned and executed, and on December 19, 1917, I became Esme Anne Evenson. We didn’t honeymoon with Christmas so close, but there were promises of travel to come. Since Charles had only been renting a room to live in, we stayed at the farm with my parents. Charles insisted we take a room at the opposite end of the house and on the third floor, away from my parents to allow us some privacy. We did spend the first two nights at his rented room. Mama had talked to me about the…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 9, 2012 at 7:19pm — No Comments

Engaged and Detached

Much to everyone’s relief, Papa continued to get better. We lived each day to the fullest, knowing that he could go anytime. He delegated his work in town to his employees, only going in to his office once a week, choosing to spend more time on the farm with us. The fresh air and exercise being on the farm seemed to help him and we saw steady improvement.


I was able to graduate and go to university, studying to get my teachers certification. I dreamed of teaching somewhere…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 9, 2012 at 5:57am — No Comments

Healing and Hurt

Papa had me set up in our window seat with my leg propped on pillows. He had gone to the alchemist and gotten morphine, but I didn’t like the way it made me feel. The pain in my leg wasn’t too unbearable most of the time. School had started before I broke my leg, and the teacher sent lessons home for me, Mama helped as much as she could and Papa helped at night.  Nancy, our servant, brought me food and puzzles, and sat with me when my parents couldn’t.


I spent the first few…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 8, 2012 at 6:32pm — No Comments

The Luckiest Break

Autumn, 1911


The day was one of those sweet autumn days, the kind that has the last warm breath of summer and the first hints of the coming winter.  The leaves were just starting the chameleon dance, slowly losing the green in favor of the warm shades of red, rust, auburn, and yellow. I couldn’t resist climbing up into my favorite spot, finding my branch, tucking my knees up under my chin and looking out over the lands.


Papa hated that I wore trousers and…


Added by Esme Anne Cullen on December 7, 2012 at 5:07pm — 2 Comments


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