An Interactive Twilight Experience.
Four Months Ago...
Have you ever had a person who claimed to be your friend but their actions didn’t show it? Yeah, I’ve had quite a few of those, especially when I was younger. Okay, let me explain. Her name is Samantha and we were the same age growing up on the Res. She was beautiful, perfect face, perfect hair, perfect body. Our classes were small, so of course we knew each other. She was one of my best friends for a while, then that changed when I started seeing Sam. She was jealous, and she seemed to really enjoy pointing out all the things that were wrong with me. Then, when he left, she kept telling me over and over again that if I had been good enough for him, he would have never left. When he started seeing Emily, she did her best to continue saying things about me not being good enough for him, being too ugly for someone as nice looking as Sam, and being too stupid to hang on to a man.
I tried to ignore her as much as possible, but by that time the damage had been done. After I phased, it all became worse in my mind and all the things put together led me to believe that she was right. This went on until I went to school in Seattle, but her words still stayed in the back of my mind. What if she was right? What if I wasn’t good enough, or pretty enough, or smart enough to be able to have a relationship with a man if I ever imprinted? That was one of the reasons I went to Seattle, you know, to try to figure that out. But, as time went on I didn’t have boyfriends because I knew first hand how much it would hurt the both of us if I ever did find my imprint, like that was going to happen. After I started school in Seattle and then went to work I lost track of her, really, and to be honest it didn’t really bother me.
I saw her the other day for the first time in years when I went to the grocery store. I was picking up a few things so that I could fix dinner, and I was reaching for a box of lasagna noodles when I heard the voice behind me. I knew immediately who it was from the fake quality to her voice. I rolled my eyes, turned around, and said hi to her. She smiled and began to tell me all about her four children and how she and her husband lived in Seattle now where he had a really good job. She was just here for the weekend visiting her parents and that she was glad she saw me because she wanted to “catch up.” I was still stuck on the four kids and almost told her that surely if she knew what caused that she would stop, but I didn’t. Then she told me that she was so sorry that I was still “stuck out on the Res with your mom and brother” and that she “hoped that one day I could make something of my life.” Then her eyes filled with pity as she told me that one day she wished that I “could find a good man and settle down.” Oh yeah, I smiled because even if she didn’t know, I knew it was on.
I explained to her about how I had gone to school in Seattle and earned a bachelor’s degree in Landscape and Conservation Management. I also took great pride in telling her that I had also earned my master’s in Forest Management and was a ranger over at Storm King Ranger Station. Oh the look on her face was priceless as it dawned on her that while she was busy popping out babies, I had actually done something with my life other than sit around and mope for something I couldn’t have. Maybe I’ll have that life someday, but it doesn’t look too promising right now.
She quickly faked a call on her cell phone, and told me she “had to go take care of her babies” and that “hopefully next time I see you things will be better for you in the man department.” I just tried to smile politely, but not quite sure I succeeded because she backed away from me pretty fast. Oh little did she know just how many “men” I dealt with on a daily basis. As I finished my shopping it occurred to me that while I wasn’t completely happy with my life, maybe I could learn to be content.