There will be so much change In 5 years....

Forks will be a glance in our rear view mirror -
We will have to leave here in the not too distant future. What I see is this:

The new house shines with a beauty that only Esme could place upon it. The large open windows let in light and the scenery making the house feel open and spacious. As the van pulls up with all of our belongings, we stand in the yard marveling at the trees and comparing things to what we left behind.
Esme smiles, though through that smile I see pain & sadness. Bend, Oregon is beautiful but it's not Forks, not the Olympic Peninsula, Not home. She fidgets with her fingers, eyes darting about the yard looking for the perfect spot for her gardens. Flowers are her forte, she needs to busy herself right away to keep the pain suppressed.
We've moved before. We'll move again. It's inevitable. It's what we have to do to keep the secret from being revealed. It does not make it any easier when a decade closes and we have to pack up and move on. Though we are a very private people, we do make connections, friends and acquaintances that we leave behind. Moving is no different for us than it would be for a human. The pain is the same as is the loss and sadness.

We've moved away from Forks before. We keep the house there though empty, it sits, timelessly waiting for us to return. J. Jenks makes sure of it's upkeep as well as keeping the taxes paid. We have a pretty good system if I do say so myself. The only downfall is leaving the place where our hearts live. We leave our hearts behind every time we leave. It is only when we return, several decades later, that we truly feel complete again.

Why does one place have such an effect on us such as Forks? That is a good question. I suppose to each of us there is one place that speaks to us. For Esme and myself, that place is Forks.

In 5 years Renesmee will be grown, on her own and I hope, raising her own family. She is our legacy, our miracle, our hope. I know she will blossom and do great things with her life. I look forward to watching her change and grow over the next few years, physically, spiritually, mentally & emotionally.

Will Emmett & Rose, Jasper & Alice, Edward & Bella move with us? That is uncertain. Sometimes they do, sometimes they go off on their own in search of themselves. That is only to be determined by time and circumstances. We never feel complete without them.

5 years is an eternity away yet it's as close as tomorrow. Only time will tell exactly where we'll be at the tail end of 2015.

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Comment by Sarah W on May 1, 2011 at 6:40pm

Papa C-

Change is inevitable. Though often painful and uncertain, it happens to everyone. You and your family would know that better than any of us. But you keep your self sane and complete with the changes. I, for one, like change. It's only when, with the change, we lose something- then it hurts much more. A part of ourselves, someone we yearn to be close to, or a comfort that we have known all of our lives. I love your awareness of the world around you, and the serenity of HOME. You keep looking forward, even after 371 years. Thank you for being such a divine inspiration to me. 



Comment by Elizabeth Swan on December 15, 2010 at 9:07am

Such a beautiful description of home...and the pain of moving away...Its sometimes really hard for humans like when I moved from city about several years ago because of family stuff...I left everything there and building it again where I'm actually is hard, but not impossible and yet when I'm done with it I'll move away from my city again for college and time is running out so fast that in four years or maybe less I'll go away again leaving it all, but I guess thats life...


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