Four months ago...

Most of the time I can keep things in perspective, keep things sorted in my head, but  the trip Monday with the businessmen from Seattle nearly drove me crazy. I discovered that some people can be idiots yet think they know everything, but some can actually be nice and might just want to hear what you have to say. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

I told everyone that all the businessmen were jerks, but that wasn’t the case. There was one named Kent who was actually really nice. He seemed to want to know about the area and our conservation efforts, in addition to the legends surrounding the area. The fact that he seemed to want to listen to what I had to say irritated the crap out of Bill, his boss, and the third time I corrected Bill on the facts, I saw the smug smile on Kent’s face and on the faces of the others. Then when Bill went off trail to point out a particular plant (which he identified wrong by the way, poison oak and vanilla leaf are NOT the same thing) and got sprayed by a spotted skunk, I thought the rest of the team was going to lose it. But the funniest thing happened as we gained elevation and Bill decided to step off trail to investigate what he thought was a mound of ancient pottery, but turned out to be the dried droppings of a mountain lion. It took three of us to pull him out of the nearly chest deep snow that had accumulated in a small gully.  I maintained a professional demeanor even though it was very hard to do so. I also felt bad for whoever had to ride back in the car with Bill because he smelled like skunk spray, mountain lion droppings, and had started to get a suspicious rash on his face.

 By the end of the hike (well, it really was only a walk on a paved trail but Bill wanted to be able to say they were macho enough to hike in the Olympic Mountains), I will admit that I think Kent and I were flirting a little bit. He even hinted around for a dinner date later that night, but I acted like I had no clue what he was talking about. When he come out and asked me, I smiled but told him no then I ignored the disappointed look I thought I saw on his face. As I watched him leave with his friends, I knew that I had made the right decision because as much as I could have liked him I knew it would never work. I live in a world that no one outside of my small bubble could even understand, let alone accept. I can just see the conversation.

Kent: “Hey Baby, let’s go out and get to know each other and get married and grow old together as we

                watch our children and then our grandchildren play from our porch surrounded by a

                white picket fence.”

Me: “Ok, sure, but first you need to know that I turn into a wolf whenever vampires are around to

protect my people from the horrible leeches,  and it is very possible that I can never have children, and I am almost halfway afraid that if we tried we might end up with a litter. Hope you like puppies.”

Kent: *runs away screaming*

So, yeah, I just don’t really open myself up for that anymore, and why should I? It’s not like I have men lining up around the corner, or a wolf behind every tree. Not hardly. Maybe someday things will change when the Cullens move, but, to be honest, I’m ok with what I have for now. I mean, I’ve gotten my life straightened out and it took me awhile to get to this point, but I have found that right now I am starting to like something again. Me. 

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