Love of the After Life

[Taiga Vera Vladmira Rogers]

I intertwine my fingers into yours for the last time
Feeling my humantity fade away
Tears overflowing my eyes
Biting my lower so hard it's gasping for blood
Taking in a sharp breath I close my eyes
Holding you for the very last time
Wishing this would never had happened
Sadly I can't change time
We must make due with what we have
The clouds scurry from the sky
The tint of the sky brightens
Making it impossibly bright
Its rays reflecting off of cars
Glasses and the thin sheet of water
That covers your warm brown eyes
Dropping my cell phone against the pavement
sending a wave a sound filling the emptiness
Inside of the air
My mind and mouth
and my soul
Only blinking abesntly mindidly is the only
Task my body can function
The streets are clear as the long tar road leads on an impossible length
As each second drags along the sky
Weighing me down impossibly
I don't know what to do
I didn't know what to do
I don't know why it happened
Or how to change it
I don't know how to change everything back
I don't know what I want
Who to listen to
Myself
Friends
Anonymous
I just want to curl into a ball and cry
Cover my eyes in eyeliner and cross my heart to die
Because without you i'm nothing
I can't go back in time and speak sense into me
Nor can I really do anything about it that I know of
Shall I chase after him
Try to persuade him
Or lose even more self confidence in just watching from afar
I just want to
Die until I can figure things out
Which is what I do
I shun myself away socially
I stay away in a corner and write
Looking out into the forest and imganing
Hallucinating and dying inside knowing I'm not going to do anything