Amanda Renee Francis's Blog – May 2010 Archive (8)

And This too shall pass....

Interesting. I am sorry for my outburst. I was haveing a major bad day. It was mild irritation today, and then I read my comment. *pauses*and it was like a light went on. Hmmm....... I am stilled now. The tempist of my temper is quiet. I am more then likely going to reflect on these words for awhile. I am happy that I am not irritated. I really and truely dislike negative emotions. But no one is perfect. Once again, just when you think no one is listening, the wind gives you a give. ;D

Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 17, 2010 at 6:42pm — No Comments

Battle.

Battle. Does it ever end? I am so annoyed. I'm tired of this emotion. I have been in such wonderful spirits. Pardon me, if I happen to have been very very sick the last three days. Battle. I am tired of it. I was a soldier in my past life, and I am tired. It is petty and stupid the crap I am dealing with. Judas, is low. I wonder if she is aware that I never said a word to her. She is the one after me. I am absolutly on fire with irritation. I come to my happy place, only to be blasted! Geez. I… Continue

Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 17, 2010 at 12:53am — 1 Comment

my day.

*laughs*didn't know what to put for the title. lol. I hope all you mother's out there had a wonderful day. I did. :D mine brought me a dead rat. XD I woke up to it laying there, and was just like.....um thank you my loves. *kiss and hugs*I threw it outside afterwards. lol. Nothing says I love you like a dead rat. I played on here for a bit this morning and got to help decorate for the greatest mom in the world...Essme! That was fun! Unfortunatly I had to pick up my bro, so I was unable to…

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Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 10, 2010 at 2:18am — No Comments

Night.

Night time. It is the hardest time. That is the time that all is quiet, and I am by myself. Thoughts of the last two weeks reel in my head like an old movie. The dust is begining to clear, and I....don't feel a thing. Maybe it's a bit of shock still left over, but I don't know. I still have more to purge before it is over. This has been like a bad flu. ugh, i hate the flu. The night is my favorite time. It's nice, I don't have to pretend as hard. I can be myself and no one…

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Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 8, 2010 at 12:50am — No Comments

Brand New Day.

So, today is a brand new dawn. I am free of the control. *smiles*It's kind of an odd feeling to be free after being held back so long. It will be nice to spread these wings again. They are dusty and tattered, but they will do. :D I have to learn to breath again. My inner self was in critical care for many years, but now i can feel myself returning. And I think I will make a full recovery. *winks* I couldn't have done it alone. I am greatful to have the support that I have had. It makes me…

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Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 7, 2010 at 10:43pm — No Comments

Judas.

My dearest Judas,

This is how I will forevermore refer to you. I at least will be merciful enough to give you that much. It's more mercy then you ever showed me. I can be cruel, but I don't want to be. I had a previous post to this, but you were spared by the powers that be. The window closed. I take that as a sign it was not ment for any eyes but mine. I gave you all I could. I needed shelter from my tempet storms and you cast me out. What happens between my blood and I is…

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Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 7, 2010 at 1:00am — No Comments

Epic Fail.

Well, congragulations to me for winning the idiot award for the week. I messed up again, and yeah. I'm sorry doesn't seem to be quite right. *shrugs*I don't know what else to do besides that. So we shall see. In an attempt to lighten the mood, because everyone was down, I made a foux pas once more. *sighs*Well, we shall see what the future holds. Not much more to do then that. I have to keep my head up, and walk straight.

Well, on a good note, my car got fixed. *smiles*I'm so…

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Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 4, 2010 at 10:36pm — No Comments

Friday.

Friday. A new day. The night held anxiety, and sleeplessness. I wanted to curl up and lay there. But fate had other plans. I got a txt from my friend, studio boss, asking if I was almost there. I called and said I thought I wasn't supposed to work on friday during the day? and we talked about it, and I said I would come down because I really had nothing better to do. *laughs* so, I ended up there. It was....boaring. she and linda, her mom were fighting. I ended up haveing an anxiety attack,…

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Added by Amanda Renee Francis on May 1, 2010 at 1:45am — No Comments

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