In our immortal lives, much as in our human lives we are all blessed with certain talents. You have those , like my sister Kate and my brother Eleazar, who were blessed with certain…I suppose the word would be supernatural gifts as well as their natural talents and then you have those like Carmen, Garrett and myself who are blessed with our natural talents. Garrett can take a photo that will capture an image you had been looking at and never truly seen. Katrina…

The pain was the worst pain I have ever felt in the world. It was like my insides were dying, I never thought it would be so intense. I squeezed Solomon's hand tightly as my contractions got closer and closer together, waiting for Dr. Cullen to get me to the operating room for a c-section. Laying there, staring at Leo, I got more and more scared and anxious. What if she wasn't healthy, or breathing? What if I did something wrong through the pregnancy? Then the horrible questions like, What…

"Edward." At the sound a nostalgic pulse rushed through me. I was use to being able to hearing her thoughts now. My hearing was still selective, she only granted me what she wanted to. Frustrating as it was I had decided it would have to be enough. Having something I once longed for would always bring me excitement, surges of adrenalin that rushed over me, regardless the amount of time that it had been available to me. I was unsure if this was a character trait or an undead one, if being…

I touched the blossom

And the petal fell into my palm.

Soft, fragile.

A tiny hint of color.

It could not be restored

It and the blossom, would never be the same.

Innocence in my hand.

Was it mine?

I was the blossom.

It happened again. Every week when they drop me off, I hope that it won’t. It does every time though. I am 12 years old now, I think I am old enough to stay at home for a couple of hours during the day by myself. But Mom and Dad don’t think I am responsible. Whatever that means. I can be good, and I try. I guess I am not good enough for them to think I am responsible and they keep making me go.

I just close my eyes now and think about what it will be like when I am grown up.…

How did I make it this far?

I sat back, and I watched.

Others who were happy

People who were loved.

Those who had support.

I had none.

I had no one.

Alone, adrift in a world of darkness.

Secrets kept

Because no one heard

No one listened,

No one cared,

No one believed.

There was no one to teach me how to cope

Or what it meant to feel safe and secure.

I had only me

It had to be…

“No anguish I have had to bear on your account has been too heavy a price to pay for the new life into which I have entered in loving you.”

      -George Eliot                                                                                               …

Simple joys for others

Evade me

Struggles through the days

Worries on my shoulders

Fear in my heart

Doubt in my mind.

What if…

The question haunts.

What if it hadn’t happened?

What if I had siblings?

Different parents?

What if…

There is someone out there to love me?

Happiness can be mine?

What if…

I am fooling myself.

Placid morning, smooth glass lake

Hiding life below the surface.

Mirrors of the skies,

Ripples distorting lies.

Untold secrets lie on the sandy bottom,

Unkissed by the sun

Never feeling its warmth.

This used to be my world

Cold and silent

Alone and isolated.

Never sharing the things inside.

You broke the waters

Dove in deep and brought me the heat

Passions awakened for living

Life became a new…

Hatred for Carlisle had burned inside of me. The memory of that alone pained me, guilt consuming my chest. The reconciliations of the beginning were full of shame. How I could of felt anything but gratitude towards him, disobeyed him so blatantly, was now…

Taking my seat on the flight, I slipped my tablet from my carry on smiling at the screensaver – a photo of myself, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar taking on the day of Edward and Bella’s wedding. Switching it to flight mode, I snapped the cover close. I couldn’t wait to be home.

I glanced up as something nudged against my arm. A bag had fallen from the overhead luggage compartment and landed in the seat next to me.

“I’m sorry about that. Are you okay?” A man…

I had never found pleasure in the tedious routine of false , human life. I had thought, though in many ways I am glad I was incorrect, that I would have a much more protracted postponement from it all. With all the obsticals we had all been faced with I had more than expected a long, secluded break. But some how here I find myself. With a sigh I opened my…

I sat in front of my window. I did this a lot over the past few months. I had watched the grass grow than die, and cover in snow. Measuring this time seemed impossible. It felt like years and only minutes all at the same time. I wasn't sure which of the two I preferred. On one hand it had been long enough where I should be getting over it. I wasn't of course, but knowing I should be gave me an odd…

The pain that seared through every measure of my being was beyond anything I had ever thought possible. If I were capable of coherent thought, I would have questioned how I was still alive. I had wished I wasn't. Like tree roots, my insides twisted around each other so that they may never untangle, a permanent consequence of my actions. Each tree root a different emotion, the…

She kicked the thick quilt, her eyebrows pinched together in frustration. She was as unfond of our compromise as I was. It was, however, necessary. I doubted I would ever become use to the unyielding magnetism her small frame had against me. I had always assumed that, with time, it was something that would diminish . Slowly loosening it's grip on me so that eventually I would be…

You would think that, by now, I would be use to this. The fire in my throat egnited, sending the monster into a frenzy. She crushed herself close to me knowing that I would resrain her despite myself. Gently, I pulled my face away from hers. She was always entirely too willing to push her luck. But then again, I couldn't call anything that has happened in the past year luck. My…

Edward and I stumbled upon a conversation last night which was a difficult one to address. We have both been noticing that we're being looked at a little harder these days by our colleagues. While Edward is quite good at making himself age ever so slightly, I have not had such luck. Esme and I first started to discuss this a couple years ago but the mere thought is heartbreaking to her and I decided to let it sit. It's come to the realization that it's getting too close to just…

Time, for us, isn't relevant. As you course through your daily activities, we observe from our timeless state. It's almost as if our residence is stuck in time as we watch the seasons and the people of Volterra pass away. We sit idle in the midst of all of your living and chaos. At first, this 'life' was everything I had ever wanted and more. It was more than I could have possibly imagined and as one could guess, it was filled with adventure, daring feats and incredible romance. 

That is…

I was inspired by Garrett's post to tell you how my Christmas was.  Christmas used to be my favorite holiday.  Trees, lights, food, and especially family.  I would get excited every year but then several things happened.  First, I worked retail for 20 years.  And the last 10 years kind of just took all the happiness out of Christmas for me.  It is too commercialized. Adults who should know better, and remember what Christmas truly is about, are entitled, rude, disrespectful, and spoiled.…